Fear or Anxiety

“Adversity will surface in every life. How we meet it makes the difference.” ~ Unknown

We all have some kind of shyness; it is awkwardness in social situations that can make someone feel self-conscious. It depends on the situation. There are those who can be confident speaking; yet, not when communicating one-on-one on a personal level.

Have you found you tend to hold yourself back? Whatever it is for you, it is a way of communicating differently. Understanding and being aware is the first step to get past fear. It is similar to anxiety. Anxiety has physical sensations such as sweating, blushing, feeling sick or continuously talking not making any sense. Fear does as well. But fear will cause more of the thoughts to become more unrealistic that you begin to get the physical reactions.

With fear or anxiety, some people would show off, or be really calm in demeanor or tongue-tied which are normal reactions. There those who can mask or better at handling their insecurities that is causing these feelings.

This is why the number one fear is public speaking. It triggers a myriad of feelings that could lead to humiliation or embarrassment. Some prepare for their speeches and are great at it. On the other hand, there are those who become uncomfortable if called to speak spontaneously, on the spot. For some even a 30-second introduction will throw someone off guard.

Decide who is leading. Is it your fear? Is it your anxiety? Would you rather lead and know that they are both there and you can still lead and move forward? This is where I leave you with the challenge. You probably heard, “choose and move”. It is your opportunity to make the choice knowing who you are, as a person, as a leader and most of all a commitment to self.



I haven’t been able to complete my writing articles. It’s easy to state the excuses of what stops me. Distractions and uncertainty protrudes through my intent to attain goals. In truth, I made the choice because I set my priorities. Focused on what my heart desires versus what I am passionate about.

It is part of my tradition to apply what is expected of me. I know it is a part of how I was raised with beliefs passed down from one generation to another.

My heart desires what I love the most. I recognize that I accomplished the best I was able to with my children, my husband, my life and the choices I make in in the name of love. This no one can take away from me. It is clearly what I want to do.

The most significant part of my existence until the day I die is my grandchildren. Why? Because I will leave with them my legacy about how I loved and how I lived. I love them so very much. Yes, a love different from my children.

My children I love dearly because we grew up together. We had the good and the bad times which include the tragedies and disappointments. We experienced the love and the hate. With my husband we have grown strong as individuals as well as with one another. The burdens and struggles have certainly driven us into an abyss of unfamiliarity of our own identity. We both grew and changed.

The shift came unexpected being involved in raising my grandchildren. I shared who I have become as a leader. The importance of discovering there no longer is power in being right. The strength in being worthless has no bond. I no longer have a silent voice. I speak up whether I am heard or not. I act upon what was given to me as a gift, my birthright to be present of my shift. In this way I continue to show up and dance at my own party; celebrate how I live and love.

It is for this reason I share from my experience. My identity of who I have become is a shift that sometimes can be distracting. As you find life to be difficult or not, you will continue to keep shifting as everything keeps evolving around you.

Remember there are other generations that followed me. Each generation being substantially forthright about who they are, how they wished to live and choices made without thought. I found at times this way of living was out of survival to get back what they thought was or was not lost. Most of their attention was about them feeling misguided. There were others who found how to begin to live in the moment, not be desecrated by other people’s judgments.

The lost generations are recovering to fight for their passion about life. In no way am I saying there is one generation better than the other. Only to state the similarities about what you want and how love is an important factor to this equation. You will realize the strength in your voice to speak up gives you the courage to stand up about who you are is enough.

Yet, I want you to know although it wasn’t an easy mission, I love fully. I am in love with helping others. It truly is the thrill of my life to watch others become successful, to grow, to find love, discover whatever it is they so desire.

What are your dreams? What is it that you desire? Where do you want to be? Look back at the past as an experience, history to learn by and be present and responsible to create the future.

Discover why you stopped dreaming and define your purpose. Decide what your action is distinctly about to keep you moving. You are the example once you expose the truth. Shifting is a willful, conscious act to “make things right”. Never remain in one place to fulfill your destiny. This shift is being felt by everyone; some more so than others. This journey has been a long, very long, ride as you attain clarity as the momentum continues to increase the pace.

Ready to Shift?

Trust my ‘gut feeling’ or intuition will look as if I am making it up.  I have to really ask this as I battle with my mindset.  I did find ignoring my intuition led to majority of my regret.  Oh shucks, maybe next time is what I convinced myself with.

Nothing complicating about living in the 21th century at all except taking responsibility every time something shifts in my life.  These shifts cause me to take action and lots of times it leads to change at times uncomfortable. My new drive is being successful at the choices I make.  This is completely unreal at times.  Almost unreachable as everything around me is also changing – I am not speaking about age.

The times of respect, honor, fairness….the list goes on has completely been redirected.  I have seen this explicitly amongst various generations as I watch my children and their peers.  Then unremarkably I involve my energies in their world.  As I experience it even more through their children how life has shifted tremendously.  There is no simple choice any more.  The dreams and desires are subjected to pressure amongst peers, intimate relationships and the expectation from society.

I am sure you agree why the expectation of others should be the criteria.  In observation, there is no clear answer only speculation within my sphere of reality.  Living fully to the best I can as I am a witness to the shift amongst us.  It is unending turns into the unknown because of many circumstances.  The economy, environment, cultural shifts into a multi-racial, heterosexual, homosexual, you name it.  We have had major shifts!!

The solution I have found is to live fully within your integrity.  With compassion not be harmful to another human being.  Stop the violence and respect each other instead.  Be considerate of the choices people make even though you may not comprehend.  Accept another human soul’s perspective without judgment.  Cease condescending thoughts about you.  Release any self-destructing beliefs.  Heal the broken heart with love.

No matter what we will continue to have these shifts.  It is not temporary.  They make significant benchmarks in people’s lives.  It is our choice now to indulge by making a difference and be an example.  In this shift, I want to be a product of love and acceptance embracing who I am.  Whenever I decide to act from love and acceptance I find the shifts delightfully miraculous.

Can you feel the shift now?  You will notice there are a considerable amount of people who have decided to go with the flow.  Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually the scales of truth become apparent.  It is time to be faithful to your word.  Not what is expected of you from those around you, especially those who love you.

What is essential to our human soul?

Take action when it is time. Assist the human soul during the shift beginning with you first. Life is precious!  (1) Pay attention to what your heart is saying. (2) Remain loyal to your intuition. (3) Expand your communication to unlock the human senses on all levels.  (4) Commit and cherish those around you with harm to none.  (5) Incite living in the moment. (6) Observe the transition.  (7) Understand who you are as you extend your expertise to others.  (8) Share your truth by being you.

You Can Make It – Reinvent Yourself

I love the song “You Can Make It, If You Try”….  It is a tune that is constant whenever I lose focus to be the best that I can be.  It is easy to come across obstacles.  That is life.  But when I created steps of momentum that became repetition, it became easier.  Easier to live with my own discovery of my truth.  I found that by putting effort in to something I really wanted, loved and desired that the rest will happen.

Describe your best you

  • Assess your life and how you feel about it (good and bad alike)
  • Take note on how you want to feel – best you
  • Example:  Feel balanced and enriched with your relationships
  • What is your vision of what that best you would look like

Identify your inner obstacles

  • What’s stopping you?
  • Look from within
  • Example:  you feel stressed and unappreciated?  REINVENT yourself.  Find out if it is your perception?
  • Identify inner obstacles based on choosing your reaction
  • Inner obstacles can be difficult and painful to identify
  • Assess your deepest beliefs to change your behavior

Fake it ’til you make it

  • Focus on overcoming them
  • Best way:  act as if you’ve already overcome them
  • You deserve, be the magnet of love
  • Affirmations will act as triggers
  • Encourage self

Be the change you want to see” and “faking it until you make it,” allows repetition.  Repetition sets the imprint for you to start to plan and act upon your vision.  It’s time to put those good things about yourself (your resilience, your sense of humor, whatever it is you’ve listed as part of step two) to work in your transformation!

Reinvent Yourself

Key points to assist you to take steps forward in your decisions.  They are not possibilities.  It is acting upon the awakening the truth of who you are.


  • Change the things we don’t like about ourselves
  • It takes six months to reset goals

Reality check!

  • Human existence
  • Only you can decide who you are – you have choices
  • Choice on how to handle external events
  • Choice with your Emotions & Feelings
  • If you are listening now – you have already begun
  • Be the change you wish to see
  • Acceptance of what you create

External vs. Internal

  • Pay attention to what you feel and to your emotions
  • Life will challenge them
  • Two questions as a trigger:  How do you feel right now?  How do you want to feel?
  • Mistake is your goals from the outside in (materialistic, success, etc.)
  • You are in control:  feel sexy, healthy and comfortable, experience unconditional love and companionship


  • What are your intended feelings not intended outcome
  • Be realistic in your goals where you enjoy them
  • Example: assessing every potential partner for their willingness to settle down: seek genuine compatibility
  • How do you feel about that person? Why?  What’s working? Why not?

This is your opportunity to shift your realities that may be stopping you from your dreams.  Decide and make a choice as you make the necessary changes to have a happier lifestyle.  Act upon positive focus that will keep you on track.  More information in next month’s article.

Time To Transmute

If we look back at the words of the ancient ones, we are experiencing the purging of our guilt, resentment and negative judgment.  We have experienced our worthiness vs. our worthlessness.  Yet, these experiences are what each of us must be willing to go through and embrace it as part of who we are in our divine essence.

How does one begin to understand the relationship between one’s pain and the whole of who we think we are today?  This process we are going through is automatic, taking its course to purge what does not serve us any longer.  My observation is that I have gone through all my ugliness of self-worth, abuse, being lost with no identity of being human, and consciously creating a purity of being, which is clear and sincere.

It is important to remember these key points:

  • This process occurs repeatedly over time to purify and purge until transmutation takes place.
  • When this transmutation occurs, each of us becomes fully aware of the divine connection and acceptance of self.
  • The Transmutation we each are feeling is purification of the soul, an ability to allow ourselves to purge old energies.

I have found that our process to understand the human physiology is complicated.  The progress is learning to LOVE ourselves and be kind to ourselves.  For example, through my eyes of being abused, there are times we set ourselves up to continually be victims. I know that I had to take responsibility of how I was feeling and not allow myself be the victim in any circumstances.  It was quite difficult to create this separation at first.  However once I purged the ugliness, I am and have been transmuting into my truth.

Even today, I find myself in the process each turning point of my life.  Lately it has forced us to take a closer look.  I know when I look at my closest family and friends with what life throws their way, it ignites one’s worth.  Yet, as we truly want to evolve we are each responsible for the change.  It is time.

More in depth information is in my article called, “Transmutation – Transfer between Spirit and Human at www.lightworker.com/Spectrum.

The Gift

Today, more people have a better understanding about oneself.  Being cognitive of what feelings you suppress or thoughts you deny continues the cycle of realities.  Some feel at a lost because no matter what other people still do not accept who they are.

The gift you will find is who you have become.  Many times your downfall – lost of your dreams and feeling rejected can keep you moving.   You don’t let it stop you because you are grounded deep within your existence.  No longer beating yourself up that you are not enough.  You no longer search for acceptance of other people’s opinions.

Embrace this time of self-discovery to “Be Your Hero” and know that the gift you received is yours from the inception of your life.  That the answers are not external which is easily obtained when we look at others who may seem capable?

The mind creates the illusion that from your belief system of “not enough”.  At times you may feel further away from connecting with others.  When truly the way they feel about you has nothing to do with you.  Again it is time to focus on perspective and become strong with who have become. Be strong within your own perfect imperfection as you pursue your life from a perspective that you are the gift.

Never settle on other people’s perspective of who you are.  The assumptions people make to validate your personality, your being is truly none of their business.  It is time to act out from the gift – love.  Share it with a dash of forgiveness.  And as a side dish embrace their perfect imperfection that allows you to honor all that is.

Become totally visible as you stand in truth!  Love is the key to living life fully.

Are You Lonely? Feel Defeated?

Recently, we have been hearing all the sadness of people who have lost control.  Control of what they are experiencing with their feelings.  For example, the man who went on a rampage shooting in Washington D.C. was he different from the woman who decided to ram the White House while her one year old is in the vehicle.

Did they become desperate in their mind set that they felt lonely?  Possibly separate from the world, the reality of life becoming more and more alone.  Being lonely is rarely ever a positive feeling or situation. Being lonely is a craving.

Craving for what?  A craving that each human desires to have in companionship and no longer is alone.  Yes, no matter whom it may be and the situation, it is still an odd place to be.  The transition is complex, almost running amok as these feelings go between being alone and lonely.  It becomes out of control where it feels strongly unmanageable leaving one empty.  It can cause moments of anxiety or depression- a place that feels mundane and at times gloomy with no hope of direction.

If you are in this dimensional place, I urge you to look at what is the meaning of life for you.  Here are some steps to allow you to be aware, be focused and take action to change this place you may feel is inevitable.

1)     Map out what you want to do in life.  I know that with what is happening today with our government, economy…it may seem impossible to plan.  However, when you map out what you want to do, it gives focus to continue to decide your next steps.

2)     Look at your self-belief about you.  Some people do not feel that the accomplishments they have made are their own.  A loss of a job or house brings up failure losing site of the success they had done this alone. The trust of their ability has been lost and now must be regained.

3)     Trust yourself.  They are those who feel the need for another person to support their decisions, to make them feel safe and to help them get from point A to point B.  Self-love (trust) can do this alone. This allows a stronger relationship with self and with your partner or spouse creating depth within you.

These are just a few steps that will begin your journey to focus.  Many times repetition by implementing simple steps can rejuvenate you.  It can inspire the motivation to keep moving forward.  Thus, expand your perspectives about your limiting beliefs that keep you lonely.  And to shift them in the moment to realize that your successes have been done on your own!

Metamorphosis on Fire!

Have you felt like the rug has been pulled from under you and really nothing to say?  You have watched silently as things around you slowly withered away.  The answer you get all seemed justified.  Yet, you take a deep breath and realize it was just “a band aid” that helped the pain temporarily go away. You toughen up and look forward, wiping off yesterday’s pain.  Then begin again.  You know that you hear your mantras of optimism.  You meditated peacefully within knowing there is a reason for all this. Each time you see how everything seems to keep falling away and you keep taking each day as a new day.

Doing the same daily routine as you find another tool / technique / creating a different picture…only to find there is nothing concrete to step on.  That the step you just took was into a tar pit.  As you cannot move, a permanent outcome as you look at all that is going on….as you realize that each quadrant (mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually) was more than a balancing act.  Spinning all the plates to keep them going when suddenly that rug was pulled from under you.

When does it all stop you ask yourself?  How much more can you really take?  I use to think that it was the suffering I needed to experience because I had sinned.  Then I thought the pain was not enough so there should be more to absolve me from these sins.  Each belief strong sustaining one another as the reason why failure is a destiny from issues not dealt with in a past life.  As I move aimlessly forward, talking myself into believing that there is a reason.

Still I continue to grab at possible answers that would make some sense as things disintegrate.  Then I hold on to maybe a hopeful moment that I had weathered the storm.  Something is there around the corner for me.  With all the quadrant work I have done: I understand – am empowered – and practice; still finding that another unexpected situation has occurred.

Reflecting consciously where there is silence while in the middle of the “eye of the storm”.  A quiet moment that is tranquil and enlightening, nothing that is explainable except it feels like right before the final breath of ecstasy…like a rush that brings you up-however, quickly descending like shattered glass.

There is no glue to put these broken pieces together.  I am an example of society’s expectation.  What am I doing?  The people who entrust me to keep them safe and healthy look up at me.  It is important to be the rock during the storm.  I am the parent, grandparent, the adult; a person who has experience and knowledge.  I shouldn’t feel this way.

The audacity of me feeling depressed is not acceptable.  To save face, I cannot let others know that I too am frail, possibly human.  The outcome of this reality is clearly before me.  Cease and be the fire that is in my heart.  There are no magic tricks or spells to turn this around.  It is me who stands alone as my world is spinning leaving me unearthed.

Taking a deep breath; inhale/exhale pulling the strings that hold me together.  Then realizing there is a web that has been building inside once labeled with fear.  I prevail beyond fear to pursue what I know I am meant to do.  It is time to act like the black widow spider that instinctively uses the web as a retreat for spiders, a trap for prey and a way to defend against predators.

I clearly understand the message within the metaphor of the spider’s web–my life is magical. There is no time to retreat, allow failure to persist me as its prey, and I must stand up against my predators.  A spiders’ web is imperfect as it is strong.  I too am imperfect, yet strong! No longer captive.  It is time to honor the warrior that has resided within me demanding my metamorphosis to expel now.


Twinkle, Twinkle

I love children’s nursery rhymes because it is playful, fun and the innocence of being child-like again materializes.  It is a time that nothing matters….how you sing it, how many times you sing the verses, pitch differences-it is just so.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.

“Twinkle, twinkle little star” would always brighten the day.  I remember it putting a smile on my granddaughters’ face.  This is the song I would sing (or at least try to hum the tune) to put her to sleep.  Maybe it was boring?  Never thought of that…the result truly was the sleep was with tranquility.

Realistically, it is about the light.  The twinkle from the light emanates from above.  Imagine that this connection to the light began at infancy on a conscious level.  It shines so pure and with an enormous feeling of satisfaction.

The second verse asks: “How I wonder what you are?”  Our association to our light family soothes our soul.  We are astonished when we are in the light.  We become conscious as we look above us to reunite with oneness.  This also applies to meditation or prayer.  It is the harmony within beautiful music.

The amazing result that we seek is being the diamond in the sky!  Each one of us is a facet of all that exists.  You shine like a diamond as the radiant light that is within you.  Take notice of your brilliance within you and be the twinkle amongst a magnanimous essence of light.